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Continue reading →: Dear Libby: Please Help MeDear Libby, Please help me. Please help me. Please help me. Please help me. Please help me. Please help me. Please help me. Please help me. Please help me. Please help me. Please help me. Please help me. Please help me. Please help me. Please help me. Please help me.…
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Continue reading →: Dear Libby: Does Anything Matter Anymore?
Dear Libby, Three months ago, I started dating a really cute guy I met while shopping at Downtown Market. I couldn’t reach a box of mac & cheese on the top shelf, and he happened to be looking for the same exact item. He grabbed one for him and one…
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Continue reading →: Public Spat Between Emerson Valley Gazette Reporters Turns UglyEarlier this evening, diners at Marco’s Bistro were treated to a show in the form of two Emerson Valley Gazette reporters having a violent brawn in the restaurant. New editor-in-chief Martin Fitzgerald was having dinner with his wife Lynn when human interest reporter William Cooper stormed in and began shouting…
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Continue reading →: Temporary Changes to the Emerson Valley GazetteThis isn’t an easy post for me to make. I don’t want to think the worst, but recent events are pushing me in that direction. The Editor-in-Chief of the Emerson Valley Gazette, Charles Donovan, has disappeared. Nobody has seen him since July 8th, when a neighbor reported seeing him tearing…
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Continue reading →: Ashton RookAshton Rook: November 19, 1988-May 25, 2025 Ashton “Ash” Rook was born on November 19, 1988 in Emerson Valley to Jonas and Miriam Rook (née Harrison). He sadly took his own life on May 25, 2025 after years of severe mental health problems. He was predeceased by his father and…
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Continue reading →: About the Emerson Valley Gazette’s Recent Hacking
Our website experienced a cyber attack, resulting in a “Page 404” error and the loss of all posted content. I regained access to the admin account but face challenges restoring articles due to data corruption. Moving forward, I’ll implement better backup practices. Your patience is appreciated during this recovery process.
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Continue reading →: Yolanda PerezYolanda Perez: July 27, 1969-March 10, 2025 Yolanda Perez was born on July 27, 1969 in Carson Hills, Virginia to Jorge and Yvonne Mendoza. She died on March 10, 2025 during a mugging gone wrong. Mrs. Perez was preceded in death by her parents, and she is survived by her…
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Continue reading →: Local Business Owner Slain in Downtown Market Parking LotSmall business owner and former mayoral candidate Yolanda Perez was killed late last night in the parking lot of Downtown Market. She was walking to her car around 10:27 PM when a hooded assailant grabbed her from behind and stabbed her through the side of her abdomen. Security cameras in…
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Continue reading →: Local Business Owner Harassed by the Sheriff’s DepartmentFormer mayoral candidate and small business owner Yolanda Perez has been forced to endure an extended campaign of harassment by the Emerson Valley Sheriff’s Department over the past six weeks. Mrs. Perez’s grocery store, Downtown Market, has been a key holdout in preventing a development company from knocking down a…
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Continue reading →: Have You Had The Dream?If you’ve lived in Emerson Valley long enough, you’ve probably had The Dream. Some people have it their first night in town; others go decades without experiencing it. Nobody knows what triggers it besides being in Emerson Valley. I’ve scoured every internet forum about dreams in search of anyone outside…
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