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Continue reading →: The Duel of the Santa-ryEvery year for the last seven years, residents of Eleventh Street in Emerson Valley have been treated to the heated Christmas lights rivalry between Fred Tarpin and Angelica Narducci. Last year’s battle saw Mr. Turpin receive a majority of the votes for his “Winter Wonderland” display. Mrs. Narducci has been…
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Continue reading →: A Little Christmas MagicWell folks, it’s that time of year again—Yuletide, the Season of Noel—I’m talking about Christmas. I know many of you are probably excited to gather around the Christmas tree standing like a lone sentinel in your living room, adorned with decorations instead of medals. You’ll be swapping gifts with your…
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Continue reading →: The Mascot of Main StreetIf you’ve driven along Main Street or stopped in any of the shops downtown, you’ve probably noticed a big black and brown mutt plodding along the sidewalk and digging through the dumpsters for a quick snack. That, my friends, is Ragamuffin, the mascot of Main Street. Nobody knows where he…
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Continue reading →: Curious Spate of Food Poisonings in TownOver the past year, there has been a slew of food poisoning incidents in residents of Emerson Valley. According to Dr. Fiona Bridges, the Director of Emergency Medicine at St. Benedict’s Hospital, the number of food poisoning cases treated in the ER has quadrupled since 2018. Recently, there was an…
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Continue reading →: Emerson Valley Park Service Announces New Chief RangerWith the retirement of current Chief Ranger Jack Bridges confirmed for the end of this year, the Emerson Valley Park Service has announced his replacement: Samantha Bellinger. She has been a ranger with the service for nine years, and was trained by Mr. Bridges himself. Upon hearing that Mrs. Bellinger…
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Continue reading →: PINEAPPLE zylafone 11On December 18th, PINEAPPLE is introducing its newest zylafones: the zylafone 11 and zylafone 11 Plus. Boasting a 6.1-inch Liquid Iris HD display, a 12MP ultra-wide rear camera, a 12MP wide front camera for HD PINECAM video chats, and a J13 Jorus Tech processing chip with a J8 motion coprocessor.…
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Continue reading →: Burton MaynardBurton Maynard: May 3, 1968-December 1, 2019 Burton Maynard was born on May 3, 1968 in Cincinnati, Ohio to father Andrew and mother Denise Maynard. He passed away in the late evening of December 1, 2019 at St. Benedict’s Hospital. Both of his parents preceded him in death, and he…
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Continue reading →: November 2019 AnnouncementsAnnouncements for the month of November 2019: Nov. 1: Ben and Tina Mosley would like to announce the birth of their daughter Victoria. Nov. 5: The Emerson Valley City Council would like to announce the election of new mayor Anthony Faulk. Nov. 6: The family, friends, and fans of Colby…
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Continue reading →: Jack Bridges: A ProfileAt the end of this year, Emerson Valley Park Service’s Chief Ranger Jack Bridges will be retiring after 35 years of service. Trips to Blackwood Forest will be a little less colorful without his energetic tours and unrivaled knowledge of the trails. I remember the first time I met him…
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Continue reading →: Dear Libby: Are Boys A Waste Of Time?Dear Libby, I go to EVHS and I’m a sophomore. My friend Courtney is a sophomore too, but she’s on the cheerleading squad, so she’s been hanging out with juniors and seniors. She goes to parties with them and everything. I get why she doesn’t ask me to tag along,…
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