I decided to try to brighten my holiday with a Yuletide tradition I’ve apparently been taking part in all my life without realizing it: the ugly Christmas sweater. I’m a big fan of sweaters and I’m a big fan of fun, silly prints. The louder and more garish, the better. But I don’t like them in an ironic way—I just genuinely get a kick out of them.

I don’t have a tree and I didn’t string up any lights. I haven’t hung my stocking by the fireplace, and I certainly didn’t deck the halls. So my ugly Christmas sweater is doing a lot of heavy lifting when it comes to holiday cheer. Every time I glance down or catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, it brings a little smile to my face.

This morning, I could hear the family in the apartment next to mine opening presents. They have two kids, so there was plenty of joyous cries as they tore through the wrapping paper to discover the surprise awaiting them underneath. I wish I’d gotten to experience something like that when I was growing up.

The closest I came to a traditional Christmas morning was when my third or fourth foster mom handed me a haphazardly giftwrapped bag of assorted chocolate candies and told me to be careful or I’d get fat. I was eleven at the time. Also, I annihilated every single last one of those chocolates before 10 PM. I went to bed with a massive stomach ache and no regrets.

Maybe I’ll treat myself to something special today. After I finish gorging myself on a microwavable feast while mainlining Hallmark Christmas movies, I’m going to bake some chocolate chip cookies. And then I’m going to eat every single last one of them. I’ll probably go to bed with a massive stomach ache, but still no regrets. Merry Christmas Emerson Valley.

-Quinn Paxton, Acting Editor-in-Chief, Emerson Valley Gazette