Christmastime is always the loneliest time of the year for me. It’s even lonelier now that the last person I had any sort of regular contact is gone. I didn’t bother decorating my apartment since no one would see it anyway. Sometimes I regret moving to Emerson Valley, but if I’m honest, I don’t think things would’ve been much different no matter where I ended up.

I grew up in foster care and bounced around a lot. I don’t think I was with a family more than six months before I was sent somewhere else. I won’t pretend like I was a perfect angel who was mistreated for no reason. I completely understand why people wouldn’t want me around. That didn’t make it any easier though. I just had to get used to being lonely.

I wish I was different. I wish I could let things go. I wish I was the kind of person who made friends easily. I wish I didn’t feel so alone all the time. I wish I knew if anyone was still reading these articles. Maybe I should revive the Gazette’s advice column. I’d be terrible at it, but at least I might feel some sort of connection to people if they were writing in with questions. I don’t even care if half of them were prank letters like they were with Libby.

Sorry if the website has been feeling more like my blog than a news source lately. The Gazette’s funds are running dangerously low, so I can’t afford to hire more help. I don’t know how much longer the site will even stay online. Our domain renewal is coming up soon and there might not be enough to cover the fee.

I need to get out of this hole I’m in. Before they all died or disappeared, the Gazette staff seemed pretty fond of Garrison’s. I think I’ll give their trivia night a try this Friday. I’m sure I’ll end up sitting in the corner, watching other people have fun, but the change of pace from sitting alone in my apartment might do me some good. If you see me in town, stop and say hi. I’m pretty shy, but I’m also polite, so I won’t ignore you. Probably.

-Quinn Paxton, Acting Editor-in-Chief, Emerson Valley Gazette