Emerson Valley resident Donald Wright was caught attempting to steal a dozen packages of hot dogs from the Crofter’s Bounty on Wednesday. The store’s manager, Henry Thomas, noticed Mr. Wright waddling out the door while trying to keep the stolen items from falling out of his pants, where he had chosen to hide them. Mr. Thomas chased after the thief and tackled him to the ground on the street outside the market. The police were called immediately after and arrived to arrest Mr. Wright.

Sheriff Victor Grayson said that Mr. Wright had stuffed nearly $72 worth of hot dogs down his pants. After his arrest, Mr. Wright insisted he needed so many hot dogs because it’s the only thing the “girl in the woods” will eat. When questioned about his claim, Mr. Wright refused to elaborate further. Although the stolen merchandise was recovered without damage, FDA regulations prevent the hot dogs from being returned to the shelves. For that reason, Mr. Wright is being charged with theft instead of attempted theft.

Mr. Thomas’ efforts were acknowledged by the owner of the Crofter’s Bounty, Kelly Deacon. “It doesn’t matter if the guy was trying to steal hot dogs or diamond rings—Henry caught the bum and saved our goods. As far as I’m concerned, he’s a hero!”

At present, Mr. Wright is being held at the county lockup, and will go before the judge concerning the theft on Monday. Mrs. Deacon has reportedly decided to hold a cookout in front of the Crofter’s Bounty tomorrow afternoon, where they will be grilling up the stolen hot dogs and serving them to anyone who shows up.

“The hot dogs Don tried to steal are perfectly fine. It’d be a shame to let all that food go to waste. Since we’re giving them away for free, we’re not breaking any rules.”

Mrs. Deacon has declared that the cookout will be dedicated to Mr. Thomas. Vera Grayson, daughter of Sheriff Grayson, has even promised to bake a special cake for the event. Her culinary confections have become quite popular in town ever since her appearance on Don’t Go Caking My Heart, a popular reality baking/dating competition.

-Sarah Donovan, Editor & Local News, Emerson Valley Gazette