Dear Libby,

Okay, so it’s more like 4 and a half years, but close enough. My boyfriend and I are really happy together (or so I thought), but it seems like he has 0 interest in getting married! I mean, we’ve been together almost 5 years! That’s 5 years of my life I’m never getting back! If I could go back those 5 years, I might even tell myself to swipe left on his profile!

Maybe I wouldn’t do that, but still. If I thought he had even 1 iota of intent to propose, I’d be willing to wait as long as another 2 years. But I don’t think he even wants to get married. He has 8 ex-girlfriends and 3 of them warned me he’s afraid of commitment. I don’t know what to do now. Should I just call it off?

–In Need of a Good Friend

Dear “In Need of a Good Friend,”

I feel your pain. It often takes men a long time to propose to me, too. Maybe not quite as long as it’s taking your boyfriend, but still much longer than a girl like me should have to wait. I’m a real catch, and I’ll bet you are as well! But ask yourself this: are we this upset because we want to be married, or because society has told us women like us should be married by now?

I suppose the best thing people like us can do is say, “Forget them! Tonight, I’m going to pop the cork on a glass of champagne and toast myself! I don’t need anyone else to validate my worth as a human being!” And if your boyfriend doesn’t understand that enough to at least have a conversation with you about why he hasn’t proposed yet, then maybe he’s not the right guy for you anyway.

–Lovingly, Libby