Dear Libby,

I got upset the other day in class because Rodney kept pulling my pigtails. He always sits behind me even when I don’t want him to. I tried to tell on him but my teacher never sees him do it so it looks like I’m lying. I got in trouble for telling lies and had to stay after class to write I will not tell lies on the whiteboard 20 times.

I told Mom about what happened and she laughed. That was confusing. I asked why she thought it was funny that Rodney hates me. She laughed again and said Rodney doesn’t hate you he likes you. That was really confusing. I asked why he would hurt me if he likes me. Mom told me that’s just how boys are and I need to get used to it. That didn’t sound right but I want to be good and listen to Mom. Can you help please? Thank you!

–When Pigtails Fly

Dear “When Pigtails Fly,”

Anyone who tells you a boy hurting you means they like you is wrong. I’m sorry to your mother, but she’s dead wrong. This way of thinking has caused enormous harm to both girls and boys for decades. Boys need to be taught that when they like someone, they can’t try to get that person’s attention by being annoying or hurting them. It creates an unhealthy precedent in future relationships. What we learn as children sticks with us for the rest of our lives.

You need to know that you don’t have to accept people treating you poorly just because they’re not able to properly express their feelings. If Rodney likes you, he needs to find a different way of showing it that doesn’t rip at your scalp and make you look like a liar. Personally, I think Rodney has heard the same thing your mother told you, and he’s taking advantage of it to bully you. He knows that if he ever gets caught, he can just pretend he was doing it because he likes you, and a disturbing amount of adults will let him get away with it.

I’m not usually one to advocate violence, but if Rodney doesn’t stop, and none of the adults in your life are willing to stop him, you have every right to kick him square in the family jewels. In case you don’t understand what I mean: kick him as hard as you can right between the legs. That’ll get him to stop. I promise.

–Lovingly, Libby