Dear Libby,

I’m a senior at EVHS and I play baseball for the Martians varsity team. I’m a pitcher, and I’m very good. Scouts from colleges all across the country have contacted me about joining their programs. My dad played baseball in high school, too, and he loves the game more than life itself. He’s been more excited than I remember ever seeing him before at the prospect of me playing in college and possibly beyond. There’s just one problem: I don’t want to play anymore.

I’ve hated playing for a long time now. The game just isn’t fun for me, and the idea of having to play even more once I get to college feels suffocating. I’ve thought about quitting many times, but I know how crushed my dad would be. He’s had a lot of bad luck over the years, and I know it’s worn him down. The only times I ever see him smile is when he’s watching the New York Yankees (his favorite team) on TV or when he’s at one of my games.

Our season has only just started and I’m already dreading going to every practice and every game. I want to tough it out and at least finish my last season in high school, especially since we’ve got a good shot at a state title this year. I guess I feel like if we get a title, I can at least give my dad something big to celebrate before I’m done with the sport. I’m not looking forward to that conversation no matter when it happens.

Right now I’m really struggling because I’m completely miserable. It’s sapping my energy and making it harder to keep up with my schoolwork. The other issue besides not wanting to disappoint my dad is the fact that if I quit, any chance of getting a scholarship goes out the window. My academic performance has been uneven to say the least, so there’s no shot of getting money for anything other than baseball.

What do you think I should do? Do I finish the season like I planned? Do I try to keep going so I can get a scholarship and go to a good school and get a degree to help me get a good job when I graduate? Or should I just quit now so I don’t have to hate my life anymore?

–Lost on the Base Paths

Dear “Lost on the Base Paths,”

This is certainly a momentous decision in your young life. What you decide to do can set the course for your future. You’ve outlined the potential benefits of continuing to play quite well, but you’ve also made it clear how miserable you feel every time you suit up for a game. Ultimately, this decision is yours and yours alone. Not your father’s, not your coaches’ or teammates’, and not mine.

Personally, I don’t see the point in the amount of importance our society places on sports. It seems like you would’ve been happier if you’d focused on your academics instead of baseball, and then you might’ve been able to get a scholarship for your schoolwork. That chance has passed, though. Now you have to deal with what you have in front of you. You need to weigh your happiness now against potential success in the future. Which do you value more?

If I were you, I would talk to your father now. He might understand what you’re going through and not give you any grief about quitting. Maybe he’ll have some good advice. Or maybe he’ll disown you and never speak to you again. But get it out of the way now instead of waiting until the end of the season. I think having that conversation looming over your head is causing more stress than anything else. As hard as it might be, once it’s over, you’ll be free to focus on the major decision ahead of you. Good luck!

–Lovingly, Libby