Dear Libby,

Six years ago, my ex-wife and I got divorced. In the time since then, she’s remarried and I have barely dated. I’m still not ready to move on and start a new relationship, and I’d rather not jump into something I’m not ready for and ruin things with another woman just because other people think I should. As I haven’t fully left my marriage behind, I still wear my wedding ring. It’s not that I think we’ll get back together (I know we won’t), it’s just that I feel more comfortable with it on.

I see it as akin to a security blanket. It feels wrong to have my finger empty, and people treat you differently when you’re wearing one vs. when you’re not. It’s not like I’m trying to repel potential romantic partners (I probably get hit on more when I wear it than when I don’t), but as long as you’re not hitting on women like you’re some kind of philanderer, people are more likely to see you as “safe” and act friendlier towards you.

They don’t eye you with suspicion when you walk down the same aisle as them at the grocery store. They don’t look down at you in disgust if you go to the movies by yourself. Bust most of all, they don’t hug their children closer as you pass, as if at any moment you might try to snatch them away.

When I ran into my ex-wife recently, she freaked out on me about still wearing my ring and acted like it was an affront to her new relationship. I tried to explain it had nothing to do with her but my own comfort level, but she just demanded I take it off and get rid of it. When I told the story to my friends, they admitted they thought it was weird, too, but didn’t want to say anything and hurt my feelings. Am I in the wrong here? Is it weird to wear your wedding ring after your divorce?

–The Band Marches On

Dear “The Band Marches On,”

I don’t think it’s weird at all! In fact, I still wear my wedding ring despite being divorced as well. To me, it was never a symbol of the sanctity and unity of my marriage, but a badge of honor earned upon walking down the aisle. It’s called a wedding band, not a marriage band, after all. Just because my marriage failed doesn’t suddenly nullify everything it took to reach the point of saying “I do” and having the ring slipped on my finger.

Point of fact: my maiden name is McGill. My ex-husband’s last name is Barton. When we got married, I took his last name as my own. When we got divorced, I continued to use Barton as my surname, and people still address me as “Mrs. Barton.” Nobody has ever batted an eye at that, as it’s a widely-accepted societal convention.

So why does anyone have a problem with me wearing my wedding ring, another vestige from a marriage now ended? Honestly, I don’t know. People take far too much interest in other people’s personal lives than they should. If you’re more comfortable wearing your wedding ring post-divorce, don’t let anyone make you feel like you should change on their account. Once you’re ready for a new relationship, then it might be time to part with it, but until then, if you want to wear it? Wear it. I know I will.

–Lovingly, Libby